Forever A stone

The ground is my home. Personality a stone, safe to say you can find me everywhere without looking. To the abundant pointlessness of it all. Blinded by a dream. little more than a scheme, plot the essence of life, see why mother nature said it’s not meant for me. I was born by being chipped of the rock that helps keeps you stuck next to a hard place. Unfortunate events, or karma coming to collect. Debt to my intellect, didn’t take up offend. A tiny pebble verse the world. A little rough around the edges searching for meaning. Wasn’t in control of my fate, so nature’s law, move or hold me in place.

Next to the rock. Stuck in one spot is where I continued. Shaded by what should and could have been you. New experiences past due, sold on the idea of rain that move side ways. Tired of my lot it life, breaking down, trying to have it my way. This all has to be for something. Stars never align on the night of a blue moon. A piece of me snapped and left back, no time to think, wind got me on the move. Question the terrain I travel through. Boulders bigger than me that can’t move. Every new choice in life, hit with “what should I do”. Continued to move. Edges continued to smooth. Rolled through grass, dirt, mountain turf, mud was the worst. The feeling lurked, Still know nothing about this earth.

Grass a gift and a curse, roll through easy a present from the gods. Get lost, freedom is what robbed you. Blades of green, a door to be opened, only to find several more. Hard to yes to one thing and say no to many, many more. Dirt kinda hurt. When I rolled, it rolled me. Matched pressured, chipped off tiny pieces. The longer I stayed the more ready I would be for fate. Constantly move at a steady pace. Yet with every grind, tiny hill that took me high. The parts I lost, made me harder to recognize. Reach the end and lose myself. Won’t do that or compromise.

Mountains I went up only to go back down. Got used to the feeling of controlling my elevation. Mud like a slug slow dragging everything down. Guilt didn’t make it better, lets call it constant rain on a parade. Without it though. Won’t have realized even a plant has the chance to grow in the shade.

At shore. I was sure. Life has much more in-store. Pebble on the waves or bottom of the ocean.

Mindless pleasures

Stand still for a minute. Think about anything.

Just not how you’re standing.

Habitual ritual, deserves some explanation. A couple of steps back. Begin tracing, let’s call it. When the season change. See the earth is not yours it mines, took me a long time. Next stop the top of it. keeping eyes open during the drop. Seen it all.

First the beginning of Fall. All my deep seeded troubles lead back to a time when I was clueless to the movement of the wind. Whispers as attacks are harder to shake off, let the weight off and make off with a sprint. Face plant, trapped in a box,. Poked holes, my image, self-worth, pride, desires, personality traits hard-wired. Could have said you can’t change a tire, patience Stretched thin. Real me coming out the seems. Ready to devour all the lines and everything in between. Abuse, more quietly mistreat, tornado of soot. Whole front half covered, other side is clean, there I planted a seed trying to grow a tree. You don’t even have your own back covered. Fearless one must be, turn a blind eye, let it lay witness to why trees have falling leaves. Old habits that couldn’t make it, colors on the ground beautiful. Cannibal leaves take place. Grow with haste, all about the chase. Winter whispers on the way.

Seen the end and all.  Frozen in mid-air nothing can fall. Holding on tight, grabbed onto the fabric of life. Slow inducing fright. Time likes to play, it sure played me. When I hit, i’ll shatter like glass, anything touched on the way down broken too, unintelligible. Luck on the side, put me back together, had to learn, with what this weather concerns with. wrong elements create tension when mixed, all ready fixed, won’t play pretend. Mistakes figured, so long retention. Back in action. Stay up on the count of peeps, sugary sweet. Every slight twitch, you been caught by “distract “. The whole story just been faxed. Whatever you do left up to interpretation, that mines now in fact. Saw a child pass and you walked right after him. Such a shame, presentation to blame, slow footage warps brain. Slightly different perspective on things. Movement is proof. Specially in cold rain. Dirt inspector. Turn heat injector. Spring trifecta.

Flowers, warmth and grievance. Hindsight achievements now that winter is leaving. Transaction, sold everything I believed in. For a feeling this pleasing. No receipts. Worried by how long this will last. Got what I wanted, never want what I got. Middle of a meadow found a spot. Put your heart at the center of it all. Didn’t do it right unless I catch anxiety while breathing. So little to believe in. Arrangement of the presentation eye candy decoration. Real fruit mixed in with fake fruit on the dinner table. Pick one that doesn’t hurt when you eat. Starve for 40 days, everything hurts when you eat it. Over abundance, nuance redundant. Giving really is a fearsome trap in fact. Guilt, reason for the UN-relax. Went through life taking whatever they gave me, save me. Inch given mile taken,Spring of happiness needs time for relapsing. Sleep with your back towards the world face in a pillow, the tree I see, you’ve grown into is a weeping willow.

Summer the pseudo hero.  Heat once consider a miracle, spiritual, circle of life spherical. Now I hate the innocence in a child’s eyes. Reflection in the mirror too over baring. More distant between the earth and the sun is what there should be.The sun, anything I every wanted for me. Getting to close, watch how what I want is the very thing that burns me. Confusion concerns me, slightly more innocent than anger. Hoping no body heard me. The way this heat is going, you can cook an egg on the ground. Might not like how that sounds but, if the egg is what you gave birth. People will steal and make sounds much worst. All your hard work ended up in a hearse. Misconstrued heat say. Dare say. I’ll miss pay.

Now think about how you aren’t standing.