Waking Up Tired Still

Why do I live, Why do I suffer.

Please wisdom let me choose a reason. Hitch my hopes onto this wild west horse, something to believe in. Kept the door close, didn’t let the breeze in, the dank smell in here ain’t leaving, oozing, nose squeezing. Precondition to lateness.

I’ll never catch the early bird worm. Vultures cry, circling over heights, ready to retrieve it. With dedication to steal like that, how can I beat it. Defeated, never out, clung to the ropes, bounce back into a right hook. Pain no joke. Suddenly the clouds opened up and the sun shine spoke.

Rise, Rise, Grow.
Two left jabs I throw. Right hook break or take off their nose. Last hit an upper cut. May they forever lay woke.

That’s In The Way

Success Free

Laying the Ground work in a moment.

Remember a time you’ve been in a hurry. Waking up, changing clothes. Behind, door closed, Flag down a car, reach the city end. Caught the boat. Next stop coach, bus down the highway. Plugged in phone, charged 100%. Everything continue smoothly. Time go my way. Onward towards destination, we go. Any minute today.

Disappointment

I’m here, doing construction. The way still isn’t paved. Once you reach here. Force break, notice from me and my team. Still going to miss the plane flight. Take a seat seat, is a lot at stake ? The cement mix is doing fine. Coming along it’s way. Been at this for a while. Cement and I need, not stare at each other, we just hear, listen to what the other has too say.

” Mix me some more, Not quite ready to be paved with “

Like a stop sign preventing you from crossing the street. Made by design. Read the situation and weep. You simple ain’t coach busing across this street.

RELAX INTO DEFEAT.

Coffee Flavored Sugar Free Gum

Sugar_Free

Too good for you, a king.

Waking up a servant to desires. Brew my water. Temperatures reach higher. I better not burn myself.  A useful necessity, energy spike. In the morning, never stays throughout the day. I need it the most. Painful, it has to be this way.

Lost in the title. Even a bubble will forget where it came from. Floating up towards the clouds. The only life it knows, in the only way it knows how. Right before it pops, right before its sure that ascendance was it’s and it’s alone. Right before the feeling of…..

“Hoping I can stay like this forever”.

Second only to bliss. It will pop. It will pop and with it an an accompanying scream.

“What is going on” ?

Too self-aware of hopelessness to curse. A wish is made. Time move in reverse. Slowly put together the pieces radiating outwards. Pain staking glue the connection out of sight. A new bubble is reformed. What was once inspiring. Left the stage after it performed. No encore from this audience. More amused with the curtains.

“What’s going on” ?

5 different elements pulled together. To make this perfect. To be out done and made worthless by someone who didn’t even want to be here. Fell through the roof. Rather, rain on my parade. Nothing left to do, backing up, walk away. Cool off in the shade. Mind in a haze. What am I to do from today. Which started off peacefully. What goes around comes around got stuck somewhere on the way. In heat. Little problems on my mind seldom melt away. Catch fire when I magnify issues of yesterday and today.

“What’s going on” ?

Feeling, one with the shade. One with the shadow, following tracks. Glued to backs. Always around even when the sun is out. Complex to simple to nothing. No going back. Chewed bubble gum popped. Spat on the ground to be stepped in. Now someone else’s issue. Scraping it off. Ain’t hard, just a little tricky. Associate darkness with being sticky. Oozing out the walls. Aiming straight at my head.

“What’s going on” ?

Wrote this down, when I fell hard on my face. From high up. Seldom speak because, the walls, listen. Part of the conversation. Get Rid of them and the roof caves in. Vibrations bounce off and back into the microphone, sounding like light whispers everywhere. Catching feelings like a cold. What are you supposed to do when even the bitterness leaves you empty. This gum and this coffee got me, forever hungry.

“What’s going on with me” ?

Temptation is a tight fit. A solid fitting ring even. One night flings. Sweeping up broken dreams. Covering my ears in the night, though I hear the screams. Only person in the crowd not willing to give up a damn thing.

“What’s wrong with me… simple ain’t for you ”

it’s Most definitely for me.

Clever Savagery

Take a full step back and picture yourself. On that picture, imagine me.

Nameless and faceless. As blank as a canvas can be. Use these words as outlines and color them, however you want them to be. Needless to say. This experience is now yours. It will follow you, one day you might need it, for sure ?

If outlines, sudden picture, confine spaces. Braces this, keep turning the pages. For sure, a blank page, all for you at the end. Method to chase this, read into the first pages. When did the moment sparking the situation being. The letters “cur” jumping to conclusions, all I thought of was “curse ” already negative. Feelings towards this book disperse. Things did get a little better when I, actually say the word “curator “. Apologizes owed. Mistake softly spoken or loudly told. Magic between the two, watch and see the difference. Smoke and mirrors targeted towards my fears and pleasures. Red already in hand so many fire hydrants and trucks here. Next page, crowd of people not an Afro insight. No color choice free from a heavy suggestion. Table of content or association questions.

Forget it, no regressing. Steady turn the pages forwards. Learning new lessons. Waiting for the time when I can use the colors I want to use. Express a simple mood. Sad to say when given the book, it’s a loose, loose.Retain this information, no excuse. Structures put in place making it harder to move. Color, outside the lines ? there is no room. The picture one imagines for themselves. Doom. Till Vroom. Stick through it, stay extra aware when you,” just do it”.

keeping track of the methods and designs. Read in between the lines. Soon to be a clearer more vibrant picture. Unmistakable to many, proof got plenty. Little left up to second guessing. Neon red bricks, It’s usually red. Wanting, the knowledge of knowing to be all over the rest of the book prevalent. Rarely used, fear kept up at night focused. Pleasure more often than not, denied. Bumps on the way, followed the plot to this spot. Second to final page of the book.

What did you learn ? What did you see ? After seeing the occupations in this coloring book, what would you like to be ?

Well gee. Someone who follows rules and directions, moves with precision and adds the right colors where they need be. A simple life, with a passive experience. That’s the one please. On the last page, I drew things never seen. Colored them nicely. This experience is mines now, the book nostalgic memories. No longer for me.

Out In The Open

Anything that leaves me hollow, satisfied and complacent.

misguidedly pour my faith in. Tried to replace it. Time, energy, effort, always in use. Never wasted. Resourceful, hard to forget like a fragrance. Placebo pill couldn’t really taste this. Whole lot of positivity enclosing some hate shit. Out in the open, the body belongs to the mercy of the people around you. Use or be used a choose that hangs over everyone since before birth. Use anyone who used me in a desperate attempt to keep my soul. Out in the open I must tread.