Last chance, contemplating how I’m going to miss this. Never take a chance, my heart won’t forget it. Do what’s done before, a new experience is my only regret. Afraid to slip and fall slept. Quit before I fail to try. Try hard laughably, disown the exaggeration. A little bit of me in every action I chose, even still my pride is too much for me to lose. Staring out the window, might as well ask a tree. Wind through the leaves, nope. Now it’s an answer provided for me. Living my best life, what most people are saying. Most of my nights are filled with praying. A shorter route to tears is all I’ve gained. This is my life, fortune won’t allow me to deny this pain.
Don’t pray for me. Just know, it’s not too late for me. Time moves in revere. Each new moment. It’s like history stole it. Should be happy but, face never shows it. I’ve been sick, took whatever I could from life to suppress it. Never would have guessed it, until I chose courage and flexed it. Stories from the past, won’t be told again. At least trapped here, I won’t grow old again. Sometimes, I wish I picked up a pen instead of a sword. The damage I had a hand in creating can’t be ignored.
Crows feet. Lamb or sheep, balanced upon a crows beak. Earth’s resistance looking bleak. The ground will barely tell the difference. A serious game, don’t you miss this. 360 degree eyes, I’m equipped with. Literally see it coming, in the next second, my head, a bullet will split it. Just enough time to think about regretting. Passed, more like carved through. A hole can be apart of you too. Made it’s own way, the surrounding need not move. Blood flew loose. Died standing upright. Who would’ve knew.
Pencil point already broken, line twice read. Discarded dread. Pride on the line, tied tight, half breed. A part of me dead. Steady shaking, laying, praying. Holding unto myself, heat in between cultivating. Never truly got a clue what I’m saying until, I look back. Taste my own medicine. Feel. Ego killed, who am I for real ?
Me, the devil, making deals, no appeals. Decisions made. A couple seconds of second guessing, mind pressed, ultimately stressed, yet still, did my dirt. Phony replaced my shirt. Fake smile proxy, I lurked. Flirt with a false image of myself put the real me on a shelf, dust collect, what else. Claim a symbol, self love protection.
What is one to do when fate makes a joke of you. Whom to send the angry letter to. Only one who reads it, ends up being you.
Events out of your control, pokes and leaves holes. Emotions spilled on folded clothes. Nice presentation but soaked. Pressing buttons, hit one right between the ribs, retract, off with some flesh. Cannibals take dibs. Lies told no better than fibs. No one gives.
A lot of taking, no breaks, lost plates, stolen. Going to be late for my date. No excuses made, makes up for lost time, bad habit straighten my spine, look alive, food should never be cold. Old. No. Please a little bit more. Past the eye of the storm, swimming towards violent shores,unprepared for what’s in store. Money, short, not enough body weight or tattoos to explore. Did everything I could, even asked for more. Letting go tour. That’s one, two, three not four. Stay by the end of the cliff, ready to dive, death not a detour. My favorite main course. Survivor’s guilt. Take out the remorse, I’m all that I’m left with.
Why do I live, Why do I suffer.
Please wisdom let me choose a reason. Hitch my hopes onto this wild west horse, something to believe in. Kept the door close, didn’t let the breeze in, the dank smell in here ain’t leaving, oozing, nose squeezing. Precondition to lateness.
I’ll never catch the early bird worm. Vultures cry, circling over heights, ready to retrieve it. With dedication to steal like that, how can I beat it. Defeated, never out, clung to the ropes, bounce back into a right hook. Pain no joke. Suddenly the clouds opened up and the sun shine spoke.
Rise, Rise, Grow.
Two left jabs I throw. Right hook break or take off their nose. Last hit an upper cut. May they forever lay woke.