Contradiction my Ex. I’ll admit I stayed for the sex. More specifically to protect the idea of me. How stupid can I be, to let this person in. Physical fit due to mental gymnastics. Meet on occasions, personal split, trying to move forward, terrible at it. Remember all the fun times, yeah, that one time. Body, mind and soul sprung, treated like dung. Attention seek, unhealthily. Mamma told me, how you treat someone is a reflection of you. Hurt people, hurt people. Attacked everything around, called it blowing off steam. Stuck around, called it believing in the love that could be. Co-dependent flee. People pleasing or angry right out of sleep. Nothing is ever good enough or boundaries lost in the drama. Both parties, secret wish. Don’t abandon me.
A week later. Tempted to call her phone.
Ain’t running from shit, sitting in place. Kicked so hard my ass is now stuck spinning in place. Dropped into a wishing well, flesh and blood turn collateral. Looked up at the moon from a hole in the ground. End of the tunnel, cave light funnel. When will I be fit to leave this place, touch your face, take things at our pace.
So with the moon, I’ll make do. Listening to the night, it tells me to forget you. The sun lights the moon, so in truth I never really met you. Hunger sets in, look at what the future, now present you.
In this dream, the open sky is all yours.
As long as I stay down here.
Don’t pray for me. Just know, it’s not too late for me. Time moves in revere. Each new moment. It’s like history stole it. Should be happy but, face never shows it. I’ve been sick, took whatever I could from life to suppress it. Never would have guessed it, until I chose courage and flexed it. Stories from the past, won’t be told again. At least trapped here, I won’t grow old again. Sometimes, I wish I picked up a pen instead of a sword. The damage I had a hand in creating can’t be ignored.
Crows feet. Lamb or sheep, balanced upon a crows beak. Earth’s resistance looking bleak. The ground will barely tell the difference. A serious game, don’t you miss this. 360 degree eyes, I’m equipped with. Literally see it coming, in the next second, my head, a bullet will split it. Just enough time to think about regretting. Passed, more like carved through. A hole can be apart of you too. Made it’s own way, the surrounding need not move. Blood flew loose. Died standing upright. Who would’ve knew.
What is one to do, when the issue is, you stay you. Stay true, pull through. The sun shine sticks to you like glue. The sky seldom blue, traveled to different ends of the island. New ocean view. The problem is there is no real issue. The issue is non-existent but, regardless you still feel the wind too. Where does it begin and end. Everywhere at once, yet no where at all. You can’t reach out and touch it. Sadly it only touches you. A relationship never grew. Start a fire. Make due. Truth be told I just might forever miss you.