Waking Up Tired Still

Why do I live, Why do I suffer.

Please wisdom let me choose a reason. Hitch my hopes onto this wild west horse, something to believe in. Kept the door close, didn’t let the breeze in, the dank smell in here ain’t leaving, oozing, nose squeezing. Precondition to lateness.

I’ll never catch the early bird worm. Vultures cry, circling over heights, ready to retrieve it. With dedication to steal like that, how can I beat it. Defeated, never out, clung to the ropes, bounce back into a right hook. Pain no joke. Suddenly the clouds opened up and the sun shine spoke.

Rise, Rise, Grow.
Two left jabs I throw. Right hook break or take off their nose. Last hit an upper cut. May they forever lay woke.

Trapped By Words

Listen, a necessity for those that want to be heard.

Your thought process can follow the pattern of spoken word. A little bit of you in everything you do. Wake up in the morning, brush your teeth before you eat food. Shower before you go outside for a run. Start off fresh, followed up by a mess. Anything you do someone might suspect. That sounds just like him, call the guards and the watchdogs, lets teach him some respect. Social interactions , a whole life to protect. Sharp while I digress. Least suspect, anyone. Open a brain, pick it like a multiple choice test.  Who I am, continually left open-ended. Life experience will be changed by a couple of sentences. Story, once left up to you, turned coloring book. Enemies make due.

Really flipped the script, turn events sadistic with a couple of words falling off your lips. Thought we we’re in this together but, you’ve never seen a sinking ship. Full speed ahead under-board. Death in cold water UN-insured. Death by jealous probability forever more. Survivors guilty sets in while you’re still trying to survive. Watch how feelings and precious moments take a nose drive into cold ice. You can do nothing, avert eyes. Water, grab on tight. More than possible, to carry escaping mayhem. Bed frame, rusted paint, hits, almost faints. Used to be held up by all this weight. Defeat can’t be smelt nose are clogged. End of the story, me drowning like a log. Turn fog. Jump, craving the victory you’ve been missing.

How to guide, turn survivor edition. Eye of the storm, false bliss. Traveling through last stretch puff up chest. At times like this. Remembering all issues, opportunities seldom benefits.  Bubble floating up, lost of breath. Clothes, heavy, constricting. Midnight blue into a darker hue. Swept. Since before dismay, chaos or disarray view of the world never been the same. Penny for my thoughts, told mom to keep the change. Uncharted path I’m on can’t be explain. Solid ground, oasis of happiness to be found. Here I can’t drown. Swim when death makes a sound. The ship is completely under. Life is being suffocated. Light beams in through the surface. Making sure to highlight tragedy. Too many shades of blue to count. Think of a way to make it out.

Paddle in, kick out. Movement of a body unable to run. In doubt. Growing up, the worst was a rain cloud. Pressure from all around. Imagine 360 degree storm cloud. Moving forward when it’s complete dark around. Unconscious of up or down. Lack of feeling compounds. What am I searching for. Not a child here to explore, just searching for more, for warmth. Despite the 180 done in the face of death. Mistakes only time can stress. Hope to make it out, feeling shorten of breath.