My Hostile Living Room

In actuality, my reality gets closer to the truth the more I extract proof. Tie up anything loose, make a truce with feelings produced. Perception colored by mood, various shades of blue. No matter the stage one thing continuously range true. Hurt me first, then said I love you. Built a tower, left foundation crude. In life, at any moment everything you’ve worked for can come undo do. Explosive glue, damage sticks to you. Pieces turn dust. Natural tendency to lust for some trust. I feel stupid, gave everything only, to watch your smile, as you fell through. After the second time, I already knew, nothing to do.
Only you can change you.

Truth Told Through A lie

Indulge my emotions and my needs, just to say leave me alone, I’m trying breathe. Given me nothing to complain about, that’s the dilemma. In this garden, pleasure is provided forever. Tweaked so specifically, no such thing as stormy weather. Sell your soul for treasures. Who cares about a piece of mind, lay here with the divine, all problems will be, fine. A home created with everything except you in mind. A bird in a cage still has the ability to fly. Horse on a chain can still run wild. Even if you’re unhappy a human face can still smile.

Free To Jump

Pencil point already broken, line twice read. Discarded dread. Pride on the line, tied tight, half breed. A part of me dead. Steady shaking, laying, praying. Holding unto myself, heat in between cultivating. Never truly got a clue what I’m saying until, I look back. Taste my own medicine. Feel. Ego killed, who am I for real ?

Me, the devil, making deals, no appeals. Decisions made. A couple seconds of second guessing, mind pressed, ultimately stressed, yet still, did my dirt. Phony replaced my shirt. Fake smile proxy, I lurked.  Flirt with a false image of myself put the real me on a shelf, dust collect, what else. Claim a symbol, self love protection.

What is one to do when fate makes a joke of you. Whom to send the angry letter to. Only one who reads it, ends up being you.

Events out of your control, pokes and leaves holes. Emotions spilled on folded clothes. Nice presentation but soaked. Pressing buttons, hit one right between the ribs, retract, off  with some flesh. Cannibals take dibs. Lies told no better than fibs. No one gives.

A lot of taking, no breaks, lost plates, stolen. Going to be late for my date. No excuses made, makes up for  lost time, bad habit straighten my spine, look alive, food should never be cold. Old. No. Please a little bit more. Past the eye of the storm, swimming towards violent shores,unprepared for what’s in store. Money, short, not enough body weight or tattoos to explore. Did everything I could, even asked for more. Letting go tour. That’s one, two, three not four. Stay by the end of the cliff, ready to dive, death not a detour. My favorite main course. Survivor’s guilt. Take out the remorse, I’m all that I’m left with.

Waking Up Tired Still

Why do I live, Why do I suffer.

Please wisdom let me choose a reason. Hitch my hopes onto this wild west horse, something to believe in. Kept the door close, didn’t let the breeze in, the dank smell in here ain’t leaving, oozing, nose squeezing. Precondition to lateness.

I’ll never catch the early bird worm. Vultures cry, circling over heights, ready to retrieve it. With dedication to steal like that, how can I beat it. Defeated, never out, clung to the ropes, bounce back into a right hook. Pain no joke. Suddenly the clouds opened up and the sun shine spoke.

Rise, Rise, Grow.
Two left jabs I throw. Right hook break or take off their nose. Last hit an upper cut. May they forever lay woke.

That’s In The Way

Success Free

Laying the Ground work in a moment.

Remember a time you’ve been in a hurry. Waking up, changing clothes. Behind, door closed, Flag down a car, reach the city end. Caught the boat. Next stop coach, bus down the highway. Plugged in phone, charged 100%. Everything continue smoothly. Time go my way. Onward towards destination, we go. Any minute today.

Disappointment

I’m here, doing construction. The way still isn’t paved. Once you reach here. Force break, notice from me and my team. Still going to miss the plane flight. Take a seat seat, is a lot at stake ? The cement mix is doing fine. Coming along it’s way. Been at this for a while. Cement and I need, not stare at each other, we just hear, listen to what the other has too say.

” Mix me some more, Not quite ready to be paved with “

Like a stop sign preventing you from crossing the street. Made by design. Read the situation and weep. You simple ain’t coach busing across this street.

RELAX INTO DEFEAT.