A plethora of lethargy snuck in decrepitly. Took the reins of my thinking, got the best of me. Maybe conciseness is testing, lost cause, nesting. Heart open, unprotected. These thoughts aren’t mines. “Who’s” ? is the question. Refuse to separate my past from the present, no history is depressing. Repeat yourself, work against it. Chose a cause, defend it, come full circle, defend against it. Sip some tea, bite the leaf, human nature is to walk upright towards free. Those who don’t feel free, works towards segregation of wings from bodies. Shopping spree, everything half off. That means it’s suggested value never meant a damn thing.
We have a lot of ground to cover. The perimeter stretches only so far. Taller than pair of slippers on your feet, staked up silly looking. Clear view of every side, from the other side, as long as the eye, can see. How easily crossed my wall are. By the casual stroller. With a lot worst than, no concern. My existence, naturally ignored. They say if you drop a penny from a high enough height. Terminal velocity results in death. I tossed myself, like a penny wanting to make an impact on life, falling face first eyes open. Hard to believe you didn’t see me coming, more complications not a single beat was skipped. We both know what this is, yet the only one left feeling, is me. I get the sense you’ve seen pennies fall out of the sky all the time. Not even your hair moved, from the wind displacement. I bet if the whole world was on fire, you’d stride through it without getting burned, unconcern with everything other than yourself.
Where did the fire come from, me, I burned this shit easily. Many practice sessions of yesteryear, set myself up for destruction. Simply because I don’t want to be here. In a position where none, notice me. This, before actual realization of being ignored. They went up the street, dolphin dived into the mud to catch a dime. How jealous of its slim shininess I would be, if I took the time out to actually see. Instinctively an enemy, whenever I decide, second nature be damned. That’s the kind me. The line to cross me built with no obstacles, a trap disguised as an invite. Please come find, seen all the time, me in the middle visible, ready for war. Like a net to catch fish, the perimeter stretches. Worked a long time, pretty impressive complete plication of anything else that stands tall in my space. Not willing to see face to face.
lots of enemies, before they even cross my line, I can see lots of people in my periphery. Impatiently waiting to attack. Set life up with many opportunities, claim they jumped on me, first. Should have built the walls higher, that way its a lot of work if you want to cross me. Run, jump and climb first three steps then ten more obstacles before you reach me. Heck even see me. In this scenario, all this effort put in to “get to me”, before you even knew it was me. Safely I can say, you went out your way to fight, no concern for who it might be. Same can be said for me. I went out the way to allow others to upset me so easily. Who am I to decided everyone who walks past will know me. No if’s and’s or but’s, not dependent on luck, Constant cycle of trying to prove my worth, I was stuck.
Surprisingly enough, every word was heard during the effective communication. Facing opposite directions, no mirror to see each other in the reflection. We move father apart, each step louder than the last. Only in the sense that, they cover up what you are saying. Muddle’s it, with a chord progression. The sounds I make, music to my ears while, yours, I barely hear. We all know what it feels likes, talking face to face. The neurons that fire in your brain when eye contact is made. knowing someone is listening, paying undivided attention. Unlike other forms of communications such as over the phone, text message or writing. Always found misunderstands form so easily. Without the body language or other puzzle pieces used to form the entire spectrum of human communication. Some meanings and messages go over our heads.
Without the smile to the voice, it’s easier for me to take this joke as an insult. The text message reads a bit hollow. If only I could hear the enthusiasm in your voice, I’ll be more incline to believe. Really just asking for much, My mind settles down, when it finally get what it needs. Tired of searching in the forest for a single tree. Personal experiences above all, how often do we even get to see each other. The world our rival, we move faster than it, never to slip or get caught up in anything for longer, lest our other priorities be neglected. Even when I don’t look busy, my mind is still infected, what should I be doing next.
A lot more comfortable, disengaging at a moments notice, the middle man at fault. I’ve been giving full attention and focus. Plus we are both busy, you know this ,talking only while our bathroom breaks, match up. Standing in the same room, can’t even see you walking away, to busying doing the same. Appreciate no matter how far we get, connected by the sound of the conversation. Literal background noise. Glad, easily picking you out from all the other noises and distractions. Message received like the lone tree found in the forest.
Only funny after the fact. Therefore we laugh right after. Wouldn’t dare to turn this situation worst. In the air you can almost feel the thirst, for blood. In the background a scream too. Right now I feel like a child again. My brothers and I broke something important in the house. Mommy, just so happen to be close enough to hear it go down. Literally red handed, we are torn between fight or flight. Knowing either, helps fuel her fire. A fire itching to burn, even before she’s learned, what’s truly happened.
How do you explain the seconds in life that change everything. The entire time we played around with the center table in mind. If anything we did a little too much. Jumping over and under it. Water gun battle in the house, who cares about carpet really ?
Only a play fight, when the pain is imaginary. Mommy is sleeping, so make sure not to yell, too loud. Can’t watch tv, no choice but too, use creativity to play . The floor wasn’t lava an hour ago, it can sure as hell burn us now. Wow you actually sneezed and bumped into the center table. Domino effect, the pictures and the last memory of grandma torn by glass.
Music an external force, that is instinctively understood.
Rap speaks directly to my Id
fiercely launched into my being, shhh
Talking carelessly, the message surely to be lost.
Complex feelings distilled into short burst, rapidly heard.
Turmoil slowly rediscovered, fixed soon after
When road to recover is finally found
Emotions uncontrollable, hanging on, boats on the rapids