Waking Up Tired Still

Why do I live, Why do I suffer.

Please wisdom let me choose a reason. Hitch my hopes onto this wild west horse, something to believe in. Kept the door close, didn’t let the breeze in, the dank smell in here ain’t leaving, oozing, nose squeezing. Precondition to lateness.

I’ll never catch the early bird worm. Vultures cry, circling over heights, ready to retrieve it. With dedication to steal like that, how can I beat it. Defeated, never out, clung to the ropes, bounce back into a right hook. Pain no joke. Suddenly the clouds opened up and the sun shine spoke.

Rise, Rise, Grow.
Two left jabs I throw. Right hook break or take off their nose. Last hit an upper cut. May they forever lay woke.

That’s In The Way

Success Free

Laying the Ground work in a moment.

Remember a time you’ve been in a hurry. Waking up, changing clothes. Behind, door closed, Flag down a car, reach the city end. Caught the boat. Next stop coach, bus down the highway. Plugged in phone, charged 100%. Everything continue smoothly. Time go my way. Onward towards destination, we go. Any minute today.

Disappointment

I’m here, doing construction. The way still isn’t paved. Once you reach here. Force break, notice from me and my team. Still going to miss the plane flight. Take a seat seat, is a lot at stake ? The cement mix is doing fine. Coming along it’s way. Been at this for a while. Cement and I need, not stare at each other, we just hear, listen to what the other has too say.

” Mix me some more, Not quite ready to be paved with “

Like a stop sign preventing you from crossing the street. Made by design. Read the situation and weep. You simple ain’t coach busing across this street.

RELAX INTO DEFEAT.

Stood Waiting Too Long

Stood

Left there standing

Rained a bit earlier, ground still wet, smell still fresh. Weather didn’t even get in the way.  Lots of shade on sunny cloudy days. Imagine if all your hair up and flew away. Caught in hand but, slipped through fingers anyways. Full sentences derived from what to say. Still won’t say a bit. Complaining as a personality trait just doesn’t fit. Puzzle piece from another game, found lost in this. Life style. Forced abs to be ripped. Vain to branch out greatly. Pain in feet, make me stagger, maybe. I’ve been thinking different lately. The puzzle is almost complete. Image being put together leaves me more confused than happy its complete. Upside down or turn around. Pieces like memories needing to be moved. One in hand, seems it will fit here a little loose. What is one to do. Wait here a bit longer. See what becomes of you.

Coffee Flavored Sugar Free Gum

Sugar_Free

Too good for you, a king.

Waking up a servant to desires. Brew my water. Temperatures reach higher. I better not burn myself.  A useful necessity, energy spike. In the morning, never stays throughout the day. I need it the most. Painful, it has to be this way.

Lost in the title. Even a bubble will forget where it came from. Floating up towards the clouds. The only life it knows, in the only way it knows how. Right before it pops, right before its sure that ascendance was it’s and it’s alone. Right before the feeling of…..

“Hoping I can stay like this forever”.

Second only to bliss. It will pop. It will pop and with it an an accompanying scream.

“What is going on” ?

Too self-aware of hopelessness to curse. A wish is made. Time move in reverse. Slowly put together the pieces radiating outwards. Pain staking glue the connection out of sight. A new bubble is reformed. What was once inspiring. Left the stage after it performed. No encore from this audience. More amused with the curtains.

“What’s going on” ?

5 different elements pulled together. To make this perfect. To be out done and made worthless by someone who didn’t even want to be here. Fell through the roof. Rather, rain on my parade. Nothing left to do, backing up, walk away. Cool off in the shade. Mind in a haze. What am I to do from today. Which started off peacefully. What goes around comes around got stuck somewhere on the way. In heat. Little problems on my mind seldom melt away. Catch fire when I magnify issues of yesterday and today.

“What’s going on” ?

Feeling, one with the shade. One with the shadow, following tracks. Glued to backs. Always around even when the sun is out. Complex to simple to nothing. No going back. Chewed bubble gum popped. Spat on the ground to be stepped in. Now someone else’s issue. Scraping it off. Ain’t hard, just a little tricky. Associate darkness with being sticky. Oozing out the walls. Aiming straight at my head.

“What’s going on” ?

Wrote this down, when I fell hard on my face. From high up. Seldom speak because, the walls, listen. Part of the conversation. Get Rid of them and the roof caves in. Vibrations bounce off and back into the microphone, sounding like light whispers everywhere. Catching feelings like a cold. What are you supposed to do when even the bitterness leaves you empty. This gum and this coffee got me, forever hungry.

“What’s going on with me” ?

Temptation is a tight fit. A solid fitting ring even. One night flings. Sweeping up broken dreams. Covering my ears in the night, though I hear the screams. Only person in the crowd not willing to give up a damn thing.

“What’s wrong with me… simple ain’t for you ”

it’s Most definitely for me.

Crystal Clear Blood

Floating_2

Can you smell. Fresh sent.

Paper cut. How can such a thin sheet of paper make me bleed so much. Red is the feeling. Realization of once was. Now literally pouring out of me. Will never be the same. Life reaped out before the blood had a chance to touch the floor. Splattered mercilessly on the ground. Truth concealed, false reality. I’m only human. More specific only one person. Not an immortal god, never had the juice. Red stains hindsight proof, lack of will power towards walking forward into an abyss. My sanity ain’t ready for this. Nostalgia had me. Caught up in a memory distracting from the sting. Focused on the inside, blood flows through my veins right. If all of it came out. I’ll die won’t I ? Constantly thinking about death now.

Don’t I,

History flashes before my eyes. Time a wall never to be touch but to jump back in time and forget all is a must. Remember, memories , take center stage, this can’t be real it’s a play. Curtains opened up to show me. Looking back the actors were bad, matter of fact if this is pulled directly from life. It’s looking kinda sad. Emotions and intentions don’t line up correctly. She smiling but from this third point of view I can tell she trying to hurt me. Although I’m smiling, all I see is a lost little boy. Tired and lonely. These are supposed to be highlights in my life. I was certain. Shit more pain. The cut opened up and worsen. Should be indestructible, only dealing with matter of “fact’. I was certain. Why all the extras and actors in the back row look like snakes lurking. Almost like with every new experience or piece of information. I see through more and more bullshit. While loosing patience.

Their I go again taking actions, clearly shady. Not as good as I make myself out to be. A fallen star landed and almost killed me. That makes it mines now. Mad that it shot back up and left me. Took it out on the nearest beautiful scenery. Left it ugly. The play continued. The pain traveled up my arm and just went loose. No Love could be found anywhere. One evil villain right after another entered to scheme and left to continue on with their dream. My Whole life, nothing was what it seemed. Burning question, what does it all mean.