Free To Jump

Pencil point already broken, line twice read. Discarded dread. Pride on the line, tied tight, half breed. A part of me dead. Steady shaking, laying, praying. Holding unto myself, heat in between cultivating. Never truly got a clue what I’m saying until, I look back. Taste my own medicine. Feel. Ego killed, who am I for real ?

Me, the devil, making deals, no appeals. Decisions made. A couple seconds of second guessing, mind pressed, ultimately stressed, yet still, did my dirt. Phony replaced my shirt. Fake smile proxy, I lurked.  Flirt with a false image of myself put the real me on a shelf, dust collect, what else. Claim a symbol, self love protection.

What is one to do when fate makes a joke of you. Whom to send the angry letter to. Only one who reads it, ends up being you.

Events out of your control, pokes and leaves holes. Emotions spilled on folded clothes. Nice presentation but soaked. Pressing buttons, hit one right between the ribs, retract, off  with some flesh. Cannibals take dibs. Lies told no better than fibs. No one gives.

A lot of taking, no breaks, lost plates, stolen. Going to be late for my date. No excuses made, makes up for  lost time, bad habit straighten my spine, look alive, food should never be cold. Old. No. Please a little bit more. Past the eye of the storm, swimming towards violent shores,unprepared for what’s in store. Money, short, not enough body weight or tattoos to explore. Did everything I could, even asked for more. Letting go tour. That’s one, two, three not four. Stay by the end of the cliff, ready to dive, death not a detour. My favorite main course. Survivor’s guilt. Take out the remorse, I’m all that I’m left with.

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