Stuck In the Past

Stuck_

Only natural, looking back on it now. I went back, in the search of something. Still Surprised, found nothing. The future didn’t change the past. Lost opportunities didn’t randomly show up again. Ended up more hurt, than happy. Reason being, I never kept it together. Went with the pressure. Hoping one day, it just might let up.

Hopefully I’ll still be strong enough to stand back on two feet. Muscle atrophy, doesn’t sound as bad as it looks. Lack of Opportunities compounds in intensity, speaking truthfully, the ones I walked away from, turned down, let slip, didn’t take advantage of or simply couldn’t at the time. The toast is already burnt, let it mix with the smell of the apple that’s already rotten. I was so confused as to why it reacted with my body so violently. Should have been the perfect time to, make them new again. Mostly to blame. Sick. Hoping for anything new. Please.

Bad timing was the scapegoat. Too self-absorbed, preoccupied with structuring the events in my life-like sentences. Making them look like rhyming words. So whenever someone asked, “what’s up”. I’ll start to sing. Just how perfect and happy I am and the joy it brings. Skip certain seasons for me. It’s always spring. Trust this bed of lies and the flowers it brings. For whoever receives, fulfill my needs. Plant enough seed and sooner or later you’ll reap the benefits. Damn I look good.

Out here doing exactly what I should. That doesn’t live up to the standard, not an animal, came complete with manners. Refuse to let people know, that really. I’m nothing. Sadly it’s a messed up thing. Digging in the trash for a meal once past. Couldn’t even say I was hungry.

Collected the bones and pieces, scraped chicken, among other solid greases. Arranged them on a plate. All the while reminiscing, how much I enjoyed it at the time. Damn, wish I had that left over slice, thrown out, too full, couldn’t finish it. Currently this glass of water simply isn’t enough. Don’t want toast, didn’t pay attention and let it burn. Got this apple, the day before pizza. It’s too late for it now.

I’m really scared that their isn’t an opportunities on the horizon. The world is always turning, If I lose focus. Might miss it. Giving credit where its due. Eyes been blood-shot open long enough. This is tough. The ground isn’t far enough, still hear the tears at the end of the fall. Splatter, no longer feel them running down my cheeks.

Time didn’t roll back for my consciousness. Once a change, it will never be the same. Present view, framed by history, false allusion to my future. Always a mystery. lived only for tomorrow, dug through sorrow. A chance never had, only borrowed. Stand firm, an opportunity will be created, more than just fated. Stay true to the goal, hopefully. May you never fail too.

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