Carefully Wished to be lonely

Never careful, with what I wish for. Want it all, then more. How else can you be sure, you got what you’re worth. Not even a piece of mind, to relax my spine. Mommy told me “You deserve less “, Even though, I want only two. Be happy with what you got, honestly an excuse for when unsatisfied, everyone else is telling me what I’m worth. Crazy thing is. It’s not two for me. It’s one for me and one for you. There is a distinct difference between being selfish and achieving a desire, inspire, soar higher. A touchy subject making claims to things, people and places. Let’s stick to knowing what we want, inspire, require and the fulfillment it brings.

Never careful with what I wish for, what reason do I have to let myself be the body stopping me from letting my mornings sing. Tired of waking up, room shaded up. Son. I hope you’re listening. The only thing missing. Went outside, hand scooped some dirt. Carried it in my shirt, traveled through the rain, neighbors thought I was insane, made it up the stairs, now finally here. With this and some seeds, my room will smell like spring. Smell of rain, free air and mowned grass. Shit. Where’s the sun. Guess we’re not done. Poured water, without the shine it won’t be glistening. Cold goose bumps mid winter, chilling.

Now I need, to force a rotation, earth time dilation, for a season with more appreciation for my specific situation. All I did is want, what I want but, it came with a bunch of needs. A ladder to heaven. laid wait, pleasures to be sieged. A change of scene. Flowers to bloom in my room. Sunlight to wake up too.
Instead of.
An alarm clock.

Never careful, strictly harmful. How we unapologetically get in the way of others. What about them? Family, friends, children who have yet to spend a single second on this earth. Well. Now your turf, how I forced mother nature into a crater and pile on the dirt. The same way I’ll do anything for my flowers. Burning gasoline, dull rocks and sticks, a finger with a splinter prick. Wash with soap right after rubbing alcohol. All so when I wake up I can hear laughter in my head. What about them ?Do their dreams not matter. Do you think of anyone but, yourself ?

Viciously disregard emphatic feelings, to yourself these thoughts are treason. Why are you the one stopping you. Let another with a dream come in between.
Try and stop me.

Close my eyes and split a watermelon with a dull rock attached to a stick. Split on the inside. Mommy told me ” you deserve less”. Although I only wanted one. Never careful with what I wish for. Defining my worth, turf. Time will tell you, who and what stops you. When and how, it stops you too.

Lonely dreams to chase.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s