Now of All Time

Don’t you hate it when someone lies to your face. More so when you catch them during and not after. Actually seeing the mosquito landing on you and taking a bite. It was a low stake conversation, asking for directions, only to be purposely sent the wrong way. Natural instinct is to fight. I hit the mosquito much harder than necessary, out of spite. Really more so because, I didn’t see it coming. What reasons did I have to let my guard down and allow this shit to take place. Deeper inflection, I didn’t have any. Safe to say I let my guard down because, I wanted too.

Mosquito bite on my left temple, the direction I should have went. A constant reminder of how things could have been. If I scratch, a brief moment of levity followed by a life time of gravity. If I don’t, a numbness we don’t want to let settle and get accustom too. Curse the need to be comfortable. That’s when the advantage is taken, first step, in having the upper hand. Can’t be to comfortable around people, too lacked to see your downfall coming. It’s only when their is a lack of trust in myself, I force it onto others. How else can I logically blame them for my trip back down to earth.

From the truth we’re always running. If we picked our friends, technically we didn’t play a direct hand but,we contributed something. Matter of fact not for nothing, even if we tell ourselves, this is a itch you can’t scratch. Really we are bluffing. We do what we want. In this life you deserve to be you. My excuse to transform a want, into  a need. Is it really so wrong to accept and come to terms with our own greed. The need, to want to, be happy. Friends and mosquitoes, to want and to need are concepts in direct opposition.

Yet here I am comparing a friend to a pest, the need to breathe to getting a bitter emotion off my chest. Hard to say for myself I know what’s best. Opposites do attract however, in this case, birds of the same feather, flock together. Feeling comfortable around your own, I rather bite then be bitten, rather claim I need it than learn a lesson. Life just isn’t infested with happiness. Still lost in the low stake conversation, turns out a mirror can not be your friend-enemy, although the refection can you see. look yourself in the eye, only to whisper lie to me. Knowing who you aren’t same as knowing who you are.

On my left temple, a combination of, time, impatience, lack luster will power and left pointer finger. Is all it took to leave a scar. Some of us don’t know just how far we are willing to go to be happy. So much so, we hurt ourselves in the process.

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