After Thoughts

    For anyone who has been in a relationship, more specifically, those whom, reached the next step. Left a ship stranded, swam to shore. Whatever transpired, more than enough, tired of beating myself up, for only contemplating leaving. The death of an easy pleasure, silently walking on land now, grieving.

Nothing else to consider, already well familiar with the ingredients that left my taste buds bitter. From the start, I felt something was up, a little off, to the left inward we progress. It was supposed to be smooth sailing, with the occasional storm. Had I been born yesterday,

“Wow you really know your way around a thunder-storm”

Thoughts to be expressed, a little less than stress. Storm clouds should never, always surround you. Now through a cave we must go. How, does one walk around with slightly worst than distraction on the brain. Trouble. My feet hurt from walking. My mouth hurts from talking. Neighbors and situations always barking. Never in rest, something always lights fire, the tree under me.

The future is like the sun, never in reach,  always under pressure to stay in the shade, from the heat. Wow did we really leave something behind on the boat. Of course, angry thoughts. Hungry. Need to eat.
I swear that girl watched me in my sleep. No coincidence, just fell down a hole in the cave. Made it out the other side alright. I’m effectively, more brave, Respectively less ashamed. Calmly we pick apart the thoughts on our brain. We both new the ship wasn’t the best. What reason did we have to make things worst. Destruction so precise it seems rehearsed.

Honestly, you really did start it. Regardless if you beat me to it or not. Both eager to make the sacrifice on the spot. Happiness, take it. We choose, not. Even for ourselves, insecurities took the spot. Sailing is just as much work as it is fun. You had a lot of fun watching me do the work. Reliable and dependable is what I wanted to be, naturally the queen of the ship you came to be. For a sec let’s place all blame on you. More so than usual, see the perversion, coated in chocolate, every inch of the boat look sweet to me. An Illusion clearly, you didn’t care for me.

The nasty mess of feelings, get out the cave, to continue living. This is my test. For your own, life is a mess, no courage to truly fix it, settle for second best. Fix someone else. Use all your tools catching dust on the shelf. I don’t feel that you ever liked me in the slightest, better yet yourself.  Slowly lowered into the hull, never to live under the sun. Definitely not with you, “have some respect” you told me, ” Don’t be rude”. Why would I the noble, be seen with a peon like you, Stay behind the scenes. Happy I even considered letting you, do all the work on your ship. Only steeping out to dirty when things are freshly clean. The fact that I even had a passing thought about you. Should be a miracle you can barely believe.

Now back to me. Finally out the cave, a few meters walked under the sun. Thankfully a path is already paved, confidently meander through the forest. No other way. We had so much fun together, always felt alive. Never alone, in you I had a home. Every storm, another day to actually enjoy. Accept all in life equally. Easy to say when thing are good harder pill to swallow when things are bad. Happy to be me, never took myself to seriously. Have your fun. Servants are needed for you to be above them. Funny enough no one else is around worshiping you. I controlled the entire boat. The last of the sunlight peers through the leaves, surrounded by everything and nothing. Blame solely on me now.

to be continued…

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