Cuts deeper Than I Thought

     If you stand all day, after you finally sit does the pain set in. Drink all night, hung over in the morning. Dehydrated now, your body is thirsty, starting an hour ago. Sometimes I get cut, don’t realize it until later when it starts to sting, out of the blue. What only, lasted a breath moment in time, impacts your life for an indefinite amount of time to come. Imagine being 5 years old again, being told you’ll never be shit. 15 years later still working to prove it wrong.

Moments accumulate, driving the simplest of actions. Found out I eat lots of chocolate because, when I was younger, being made fun of, a little more chubby than athletic. Quit the sweets to lose some weight, more so to stops the rude remarks. Puberty hits, sensitive skin and stomach forced me skinny. No more easy comfort food for me, turned to destructive needs.

Finally, a cure from the doctor, chocolate, whatever I could imagine, able to eat. Years I denied myself. Clear to see, what makes this important to me. Made it my mission to eat and feel good about myself. Added a new reason, that stressful job, I just left it be. For years this is something I’ve dealt with, unannounced to me.

Now look at all of your actions differently, how did it truly come to be.

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