Vague Ambition

We all work hard. We all have goals that, demands more from ourselves then we are equipped to give. What we want and how far we are willing to strive for it, shows a lot about a person’s character. Vulnerability and ambitions on display, with my particular goal. I don’t work hard.I work obsessively. Constantly wash my hands because, the moment I stop, germs take advantage of the moment of levity and jump back on. I want my hands 100 percent clean. We all have a vision for our future, a portrait of what we want ourselves to be. I swear, the same way I’m arranging these letters to forms theses sentences that express my feelings to write this essay, is the same way I plan on turn my vision into a reality.

Everyday I tell myself, yesterday I didn’t work hard enough. When asked, what pushes you, what can you possibly hope to achieve by washing the life out of your hands? I couldn’t answer. I know the impact I want to have, I know the feeling I want…no need to achieve. In reality the goal has always been so Vague. Pinging it down is next to impossible, it’s elusive, ever changing. Imagine reaching out to catch a dandelion lion floating in the wind. The more aggressive you try to catch it, the farther away it floats. The best method from my experience is to wait, and predict it’s movement. Move with it and patiently waits until it lands in your hand. Now what?

We have it within grasp. Did we really care to catch it ? What do we plan to do now that we have it ? Was it just another thing to do ? Just like my ever changing ambition, without a definite reason, a clarity. Wouldn’t that make what I’ve been doing meaning less.

I don’t feel so. We decided what is important in our life. We give meaning to the meaning less. We decided who we are. That being said, Time for me to wash my hands again.

Vague Ambitions

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